Welcome to Dickpost!

Census Data

General Information

  • Pop. Estimate: 569
  • Children: 37.26% (212)
  • Elderly: 6.33% (36)

Racial Breakdown

  • 459 human (80.6%)
  • 55 dwarf (9.6%)
  • 53 half-orc (9.3%)
  • 2 other (0.3%)


  • 5 Districts
  • 24 Businesses
  • 34 Specialists
  • 61 Residences

Summary [-]

Dickpost is a small village in the Conaarkica Territory with a normal population.

Environment [-]

Geography [-]

This modest small village is lightly populated (864/sq km), covers 0.66 square kilometers, and roughly has a diameter of 916 meters.

Climate [-]

Dickpost has a Tropical Seasonal Forest climate, which is characterized by constant high temperatures and seasonal torrential rains, and has hot, rainy and cool seasons. Winds in the region are soft and the temperature is generally hot with strong variation. Precipitation is strong, and the sky is clear.

Astronomy [-]

Dickpost sees a single star overhead: Mec, an average yellow star. Dickpost also has no moons. In the night sky, you see two celestial objects: an imposing black hole that has been around for only a few years and an imposing supernova that has been around for time immemorial.

Cityscape [-]

Walls [-]

No walls currently surround the city.

Streets [-]

There are 4 roads leading to Dickpost; 1 road is major. The city is lined with broken dirt roads in an irregular pattern.

Districts [-]

The city is broken into the following districts: market, poor, arena, wealthy, and professional.

Government [-]

Dickpost is governed through a republic, where the people's elected representatives, not the people themselves, vote on legislation.. The government as a whole is seen as satisfactory. Officials in Dickpost are often seen as underhanded and the policies are despised. The political influence of Dickpost in the region is improving due to riots in the region. In times of crisis, the population squabbles amongst themselves.

Leader [-]

Dickpost is ruled by Commander Grimorin Wavecloak. The Commander has been in power far longer than should be allowed and is hated by the people. There is hostile opposition to the Commander and policies. The right to rule was granted by revolution, and that power is maintained by draconian laws and underpaid guards.

Laws [-]

Laws are enforced by a local thugs, who can be bribed. Justice is served by jurors, with a common punishment being execution.

Crime [-]

Crime is occasional. The most common crime is treason. The imprisonment rate is 1.05% of the population (6 adults).

Military [-]

Dickpost has a neutral attitude towards the military. Their standing army of 81 citizens (14.25%) is at the ready, with a reserve force of 32 (5.75%). Of the active duty military, 3 (4.75%) are special forces. Due to their neutral attitude and lack of defensible wall, Dickpost is moderately fortified. Dickpost fighters are revered for their use of tridents in battle. They are hated for their rigid formations and are considered tolerably skilled in battle.

Economy [-]

The economy in Dickpost is currently failing.

Resources [-]

Dickpost is known for the following resources:

  • Magical guano banks that are feared by gru.
  • Wild bat clouds that are visited frequently by locals. Somoeone said someone found piles of gold in a well.

Culture [-]

Legends [-]

Around town you'll hear the following legends:
  • Long, long ago in a city far, far away, an old woman lingered in the world. People say that the old woman will ask for your help, then eat you.
  • In olden times, the royals of Hornron thrived. Things were quiet, but one day a serial killer named Khalzor fe Khalssen took a hostage and demanded a ransom. The royals tried to kill Khalzor fe Khalssen, but were caught. Along came a deluded lycanthrope named Joic Marville, who was a sneaky thief. Joic had an idea to slay the serial killer by using magic to banish it. When Joic Marville faced the serial killer, Joic Marville defeated Khalzor fe Khalssen.

Events [-]

Dickpost is a lively city with many opportunities available.

Job Postings [-]

You'll find the following job postings:
  • Barbarian seeks apprentice. Will reward you with valuable information. References required. Contact Jam Goodick.
  • Wanted: Bored? Missing keg. We suspect grigs are the culprit. Will owe you a huge favor. Must provide your own transportation. Safety not guaranteed. Contact Jo Jackll.
  • Wanted: Want to earn some quick coin? Missing keg. We suspect imps are the culprit. Will pay in gold. Contact Garbul Brightsapper.
  • Adventurers willing to explore recently discovered ruins and return any valuable artifacts. Will reward you with valuable information. Contact Abadin Smokestream for more information.
  • Want to earn some quick coin? Seasonal farm hands requested to help local farms bring in their harvest. Reward is a secret. Contact Rogbunk Neckcrusher.
  • Required: Mercenaries wanted for caravan protection. Will pay in gold. Contact Xtkasr Foulcutter.
  • Laborer required to bring stones to the castle. Wagon provided. Will pay in gold. Must be quick on your feet. Contact Kommug Mokbreaker to learn more.
  • Want to earn some quick coin? I'm looking for a Negotiator. Prior experience with troublesome rust rats required. Must submit to magical scrutiny. Will pay in gold. Contact Mordin Platinumsword.

People [-]

The people in Dickpost accept outsiders.

Citizens [-]

The following citizens are worth mentioning:
  • Don Bernacroft is a female human who is known in the neighborhood as being a decent painter. She appears treasure-obsessed.
  • Daves Rosenton is a female human who is known in the city as being a legendary bookbinder. She appears gambling.
  • Thorrun Saltbelly is a female dwarf who is known in the world as being a legendary good samaritan. She appears guarded.
  • Morond Blueale is a male dwarf who is known in that part of town as being a poorly skilled doctor. He appears accusatory.
  • Daves MacMatrell is a female half-orc who is known in that part of town as being a poorly skilled mason. She appears cowed.
  • Jo Broville is a male half-orc who is known in the world as being a skilled chandler. He appears insecure.
  • Joes Clayville is a male human who is known in the city as being a reasonably skilled official. He appears efficient.
  • Davey Barerton is a female human who is known in the region as being a decent specialty smith. She appears cautious.
  • Borkon Onyxankle is a female dwarf who is known in that part of town as being a renowned trader. She appears accusatory.
  • Ghogog Skullcrusher is a female half-orc who is known in the region as being a mediocre weaver. She appears guilty.

Travelers [-]

The following travelers are worth mentioning:
  • Nhogag Neckkiller, a self-obsessed male half-orc. He is a fighter who is fleeing overdue taxes.
  • Adanir Ratblood, a xenophobic male deep dwarf. He is a commoner who is fleeing a bad family situation.
  • Apgas Eaglebreaker, a helpful female minotaur. She is a monk who is brokering a truce over escalating tension.
  • Dav Dilerley, a grieving androgynous human. It is a bard who is delivering a message to a scholar.

Locales [-]

Establishments [-]

These establishments worthy of mention in Dickpost:

  • The Old Frogs Bows R Us [+]
  • The Flaming Hatchet Inc. [+]
  • The Drunken Dog Jewelers [+]
  • The Guinea Ent Inc. [+]
  • The Angry Skull Shoppe [+]
  • The Ruby Wolfhound Inc. [+]
  • The Fired Rooster [+]
  • The Raging Fireplace Arena [+]
  • The Old House Bows R Us [+]
  • The Gutted Hole Harnesses [+]